Welcome to MTN Matchmaking’s monthly dating advice column, where each month we navigate the labyrinth of love, relationships, and everything in between. Whether you’re searching for the secret to a successful first date, struggling with communication in a long-term relationship, or curious about the intricacies of modern romance, you’ve come to the right place. From practical tips to thoughtful insights, I will help you unravel the mysteries of the heart and find your way to fulfilling connections. So, grab a seat, pour yourself a glass of wine, and let’s embark on this journey together!
In this love & dating advice series, I will need your help as well. Please email me questions or concerns you may have for the next issue’s topic. July’s topic is “Let The Summer Sparks Fly”. I look forward to hearing from you, Long Island singles! Do you have burning questions about relationships, love, or romance? Don’t hesitate to reach out!
Contact me by visiting our Contact Us page.
Since this month’s theme is “Love is Love,” I am proud to announce that my 26-year-old child who was born Ryan Nelson, and realized at 16 he was gay, announced to me eight years later, (as a successful, professional model in Manhattan) that he was never happy as a male and is transitioning into being a female, and his name would soon be Iris.
This is more common than you think and for any parents out there going through this, I can assure you that the happiness of your child should always be your primary goal as it was mine. Now my beautiful Iris is an even more successful, professional, female model in Manhattan and is happier than she has ever been. Was it hard at first? Yes, but not for the reasons you might think. All I ever wanted for both of my children was for them to be happy and healthy, so knowing my child was unhappy her entire life until this decision nearly broke me.
The most important thing parents need to do to make this new way of life as easy as possible for both of you is to have 100% open communication. Chances are, before your child decides to transition, they will have already done all of the research necessary. Typically, if they are over 21 when they come to you with this bombshell, please understand, this is not a phase and this is not something that you can change, or should even want to change.
Listen to what your child says very carefully, because the first time you hear it, it will be very shocking for you… This is most likely the most important conversation they will ever have with you, and you might think this will be the hardest on you, but it will be the hardest conversation they have ever had, and it will always be the hardest on them.
This is going to be a whole New World for you, but when you love your child, and you are both able to communicate well with one another, you can and will get through this together. Be prepared that the first conversation will be that their old name is not their name anymore and your little baby that you raised his or her entire life up until now, they will most likely tell you is now deceased. Don’t panic, because that is what most therapists explain to the person going through the transition, and that is what they are supposed to tell us as parents to get us used to the fact that they are now a different person, therefore you are going to need to mourn for the child you once called a different name.
In my case, I was in shock for a couple of days, and was telling everyone in our family the news, and was making sure everyone would be supportive of my child. I was walking around in a “panic zone,” praying to my parents in heaven for guidance, telling everyone I was fine, and luckily in my case, our family always was and still is very supportive of my beautiful, brave Iris.
Iris then called me the next day and asked me if I mourned for Ryan, who she used to be… I told her I wasn’t quite sure what that meant, but I would trust her and take her advice. Then all of a sudden, it hit me like a ton of bricks that my handsome baby boy Ryan was no longer here. I jumped into bed for the next 24 hours crying my eyes out for my son who is no longer, therefore deceased. Now I understood exactly what Iris meant.
By the next morning, I cried all my tears out for Ryan and took comfort with the knowledge that he is simply a she and I needed to practice very hard to make sure that I only called my Beautiful and Brave daughter by her name, Iris.
There is so much more I can add on this subject but for now, I hope this will help all of the parents that will be receiving news of this sort. Any questions on being a proud Trans parent, please write to me by visiting our Contact Us page.
About Maureen and MTN Matchmaking
Maureen Tara Nelson has more than 23 years of experience and has personally matched over 1,000 clients across Long Island and Manhattan. In 2024, MTN Matchmaking Services began taking on national clients too! If you’re ready for love and commitment, MTN Matchmaking Services are here for you.
We know the two components of finding the perfect match are Chemistry and Compatibility. MTN Matchmaking, Inc. will show you why internet dating is ineffective in achieving those romantic goals and why Matchmaking Services are your best option for finding your perfect soulmate.
If you’re ready to take the next step in your romantic journey, reach out to Maureen today by calling 516-444-2861. Let us help you find the love you deserve!
