Ask Maureen Tara Nelson


I get really nervous when I try to bring up to my girlfriend that she yells too much

“I get really nervous when I try to bring up to my girlfriend that she yells too much. I think she could have anger issues and was wondering if there is any point in helping her get through this together?” (Male, 25)


You would be surprised about how many men go through this very problem. A lot of women do too, and whoever is yelling is the problem. If you feel emasculated, that’s okay. Know that she is doing this because something is hurting her inside and she’s taking it out on you. “Hurt people, hurt people”. The only thing you can do is try to get her help about confronting what’s wrong inside, or else it can manifest in more harsh ways. Know that none of this is your fault, if you weren’t there she’d be doing it to someone else. The most important thing you can do is protect yourself and know to walk away if things escalate, or you feel in danger. Know that maybe you cannot help someone who doesn’t want help. The smartest thing to do is walk away if it comes to that.

Thank you for being so brave to ask this question. It takes a lot of courage to talk about domestic violence in relationships.

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